The Silent Struggle: PTSD and Adoption
/in AFMC, Blog/by aseniorTwo Sides of the Same Journey
Adoption is often described as a beautiful act of love, sacrifice, and hope—but beneath the surface, for many involved, it can also be a source of profound emotional trauma. While it’s easy to focus solely on the joy of forming a new family, both adoptive parents and birth mothers may experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) as part of their adoption journey.
Understanding PTSD in the context of adoption is essential not only for emotional healing, but also for building deeper empathy, more supportive systems, and healthier relationships—for the sake of everyone involved, especially the child.
Adoptive Families: The Trauma Behind the Triumph
For many adoptive families, the path to adoption is not their first choice—it’s their second, third, or last resort after years of infertility, miscarriages, or failed placements. These losses often go unseen and unspoken but leave deep emotional scars.
How PTSD Manifests in Adoptive Parents:
Adoption Disruption or Failed Matches: When an adoption falls through, parents are left grieving a child they’ve already bonded with emotionally, even if never physically.
Attachment Challenges: Bringing home a child who has experienced trauma or neglect can trigger unresolved trauma in adoptive parents themselves.
Hypervigilance: The fear of “getting it wrong” or “losing the child” may cause parents to become overly anxious or controlling.
Isolation: Friends and family often don’t understand the complexity of adoption trauma, leaving adoptive parents feeling emotionally alone.
Real Voices, Real Stories:
“Even after our daughter came home, I found myself waking in the middle of the night panicked, afraid she’d be taken away. The joy was real—but so was the fear.”
– Emily, adoptive mom
Birth Mothers: The Invisible Wound of Placement
For a birth mother, choosing adoption is rarely easy. It is often wrapped in crisis, grief, and societal misunderstanding. While birth mothers are praised for their courage, they are also expected to “move on” far too quickly, often without adequate emotional support.
How PTSD Affects Birth Mothers:
Grief That Doesn’t Fade: The trauma of relinquishing a child can resurface for years or even decades.
Flashbacks and Emotional Triggers: Birthdays, holidays, or certain smells and sounds may bring back intense emotional memories.
Social Stigma and Silence: Birth mothers are often shamed into silence, which can deepen trauma and prevent healing.
Complex Guilt: Even in open adoptions, some birth mothers feel guilty for choosing adoption—no matter how well the child is doing.
Real Voices, Real Stories:
“People tell me I should be proud of my decision. But no one talks about the ache in my chest every time I hear a baby cry.”
– Rachel, birth mother
Bridging the Gap: Compassion and Counseling
PTSD doesn’t discriminate—it can affect anyone in the adoption triad. The key to healing is acknowledging the trauma, creating space for truth, and building a support system that prioritizes mental health.
Ways to Support Healing:
Trauma-Informed Therapy: Seek professionals experienced in adoption and grief counseling.
Peer Support Groups: Shared experiences can validate pain and create lasting healing.
Open Dialogue: Adoptive parents and birth mothers should be encouraged to share their stories without shame.
Post-Adoption Services: Agencies must invest in long-term emotional support, not just paperwork.
Final Thoughts: Choosing Love Also Means Honoring Loss
Adoption is not the end of a hard chapter—it’s the beginning of a complex story. To truly support adoption in all its beauty, we must also honor the invisible wounds of PTSD. Adoptive families and birth mothers are not on opposite sides—they are two halves of one sacred journey.
May we continue to build bridges of understanding, platforms for healing, and communities rooted in compassion.
If you or someone you love is experiencing PTSD symptoms related to adoption, you are not alone. Healing is possible. Support is out there—and your story deserves to be heard.
How to Explain a Failed Adoption to Your Child
/in AFMC, Blog/by asenior
Explaining a Failed Adoption to Your Child
When you embark on the journey to expand your family through adoption, your heart becomes fully invested. You dream, you prepare, and you envision your family’s future with the new child. But sometimes, despite all the love and hope you’ve poured into the process, the adoption doesn’t happen.
A failed adoption brings profound emotions not just for the parents, but for the entire family — especially the children already in the home. Explaining a failed adoption to your child can feel overwhelming. How do you put something so big and painful into words your child can understand? How do you protect their heart while honoring the truth?
At Adoption For My Child, we understand how deeply this experience can affect your family. That’s why we’ve created a Downloadable Guide to help you navigate these difficult conversations with care, compassion, and confidence.
Today, we want to walk you through a few key points from the guide and offer encouragement as you face this tender moment.
Prepare Yourself First
Before you talk with your child, take time to process your own feelings. It’s okay to grieve, to feel sad, disappointed, even angry. Give yourself space to work through your emotions so that when you speak with your child, you can do so calmly and reassuringly. Children sense our emotions deeply, and your calm presence will help anchor their own feelings.
Choose the Right Time and Setting
Pick a quiet moment where you won’t be interrupted. Whether it’s snuggling on the couch, a peaceful walk outside, or sitting at the kitchen table, the environment should feel safe and loving. Make sure you have time — your child may have questions or emotions they need to work through, and they deserve your full attention.
Use Age-Appropriate Language
Children of different ages understand things differently. Speak in a way that matches their developmental level:
- Ages 3–5
“We were hoping a new baby would come live with us, but it didn’t work out. It’s okay to feel sad. We love you very much and our family is still full of love.” - Ages 6–10
“We were very excited about bringing a new baby into our family, but sometimes things don’t go the way we hope. The adoption isn’t happening now. It’s okay to feel disappointed. We’re all here for each other.” - Ages 11–15
“The adoption we were planning didn’t happen, and the baby won’t be joining our family. It’s normal to feel sad, frustrated, or confused. We’re here to talk whenever you need.”
(You can find even more examples and suggested wording in our Downloadable Guide.)

Validate Their Feelings
Let your child know it’s okay to feel sad, mad, confused, or disappointed. Assure them that their emotions are real and important. Phrases like,
“It’s okay to feel that way,” and
“Thank you for telling me how you feel,”
help children feel heard and supported.
Reassure Them
One of the biggest fears for children is the worry that love will change or disappear. Reassure them:
“Our love for you never changes. Our family is strong and full of love, no matter what.”
Keep Communication Open
Let your child know they can ask questions anytime. Some children may need to revisit the topic days, weeks, or even months later. Be ready to listen patiently and answer honestly, always emphasizing love and security.
Find Comfort Together
Sometimes a little distraction helps the healing. Play a favorite game, go on an outing, watch a comforting movie, or simply spend extra time together. These small moments of connection can ease the sadness.
Know When to Seek Help
If your child is struggling to process their feelings or if you see signs of ongoing sadness or anxiety, don’t hesitate to reach out to a child therapist or counselor. Sometimes professional support is the strongest gift you can offer.
Remember: Healing Takes Time
You’re not expected to “fix” the sadness overnight — for yourself or for your child. Healing from a failed adoption is a journey. With love, patience, and openness, you and your child can move through this together and emerge stronger on the other side.

❤️ You are not alone.
We at Adoption For My Child are here to walk beside you through every chapter of your family’s story — the joyful ones and the heartbreaking ones.
Be sure to download our free resource:
👉 Guide to Explaining a Failed Adoption to Your Child
for practical advice, sample conversations, and continued support.
When Adoption Plans Change: Facing a Failed Adoption with Faith
/in AFMC/by aseniorFacing A Failed Adoption
At Adoption For My Child (AFMC), we walk alongside families through every step of the adoption journey — the joyful moments and the heartbreaks. One of the most difficult and emotional parts of adoption is when an adoption plan falls through, often called a failed adoption.
Failed adoptions are heavy with emotion. For adoptive families, birth parents, and even adoption professionals, it can feel like the ground has been ripped out from under you. It’s important to acknowledge all the feelings involved and trust that even in the pain, God is still writing a beautiful story.
The Emotions Involved
For Adoptive Families:
- Grief and Loss: You may have already imagined life with the child — names chosen, nursery decorated, prayers said. When the adoption doesn’t happen, it feels like losing a child you already loved.
- Confusion and Doubt: It’s natural to question, “Did I do something wrong?” or “Was I not good enough?”
- Fear: Fear about starting over. Fear about getting attached again. Fear that maybe this dream will never come true.
For Birth Mothers:
- Overwhelming Love and Conflict: Choosing to parent when you once chose adoption is not an easy decision. It often comes from a deep, painful wrestling in a birth mother’s heart.
- Guilt: There can be guilt toward the family she was planning to bless through adoption.
- Hope and Fear: Hope for her ability to parent — and fear about whether she can truly provide everything her child needs.
For Adoption Professionals:
- Heartache for Both Sides: We witness firsthand the pain on both ends and feel deeply for everyone involved.
- Responsibility and Support: We do everything we can to support the decisions made, but sometimes outcomes are out of our control.
How to Overcome the Pain of a Failed Adoption
- Grieve the Loss — Allow Yourself to Feel Everything.
You have the right to mourn. It’s not “silly” or “overdramatic” to cry, question, or even feel angry. Loss is loss, even when the child was never physically home with you. - Lean on Your Support System.
Whether it’s your spouse, family, counselor, church family, or adoption support groups — don’t walk this alone. Healing happens faster when we share our burdens. - Remember the Birth Mother’s Heart.
Though it hurts, understanding that a birth mother’s choice to parent comes from a place of love can bring some peace. It does not diminish your worth as an adoptive parent. - Keep Your Heart Open.
It’s tempting to “shut down” after the pain. But if God has called you to adoption, He will give you the strength to stay the course. Your story isn’t over. Healing might mean pausing for a season, but don’t let fear have the final word. - Trust in God’s Plan.
Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
When an adoption falls through, it’s easy to think the door is closed forever. But often, it’s simply a redirection — a painful one, yes — but one that is steering you toward the child God has prepared specifically for your family.
A Prayer for Those Walking Through a Failed Adoption
Heavenly Father,
We lift up every heart broken by a failed adoption today.
Wrap them in Your peace, the kind that surpasses all understanding.
Remind them that You are not done yet — that You are a faithful Father who turns mourning into joy.
Help them trust that Your plans are better than any we could create ourselves.
Give them the courage to keep hoping, to keep believing, and to keep saying yes to the beautiful future You have for them.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.
If you’re walking through a failed adoption right now, please know you are not alone.
At AFMC, we are here to support you, pray with you, and help you find hope again.
God’s timing is perfect — and your story is still unfolding in ways more beautiful than you can imagine.
How Are Adoptive Families Matched with Birth Mothers?
/in AFMC/by aseniorHow Are Adoptive Families Connected with Adoption Opportunities?
The adoption journey is a deeply personal and life-changing experience for adoptive families. One of the most crucial steps in this process is identifying adoption opportunities that align with a family’s preferences, values, and adoption goals. At Adoption For My Child (AFMC), we specialize in empowering adoptive families by providing a self-matching platform that streamlines their adoption journey and offers instant access to adoption situations nationwide.
Understanding how adoptive families can connect with available adoption opportunities helps clarify the process and set realistic expectations. This guide will outline the steps to prepare for adoption opportunities, factors that influence the selection process, and how AFMC’s innovative technology simplifies the journey for adoptive families.
What Is the Self-Matching Process?
Self-matching in adoption refers to the process by which adoptive families present their profiles for adoption opportunities that align with their preferences. Instead of waiting for an agency to match them, families have the ability to take an active role in their adoption journey.
The goal is to provide transparency and choice, allowing families to pursue situations that fit their adoption vision while ensuring that expectant mothers reviewing profiles have access to a wide range of potential adoptive families that meet their desired criteria.
How AFMC’s Self-Matching Process Works
1. Completing the Home Study
Before an adoptive family can pursue an adoption opportunity, they must complete a home study. This legal requirement ensures that the family is prepared for adoption and meets all necessary safety and stability criteria. A home study typically includes:
- Background checks
- Home visits
- Financial assessments
- Personal references
At AFMC, we provide guidance on how to complete this step efficiently so that families can move forward with confidence.
2. Creating an Adoption Profile
A compelling adoption profile is crucial in the self-matching process, as it introduces an adoptive family to expectant mothers considering adoption. Profiles typically include:
- Photos and personal stories
- Lifestyle, values, and parenting approach
- Reasons for choosing adoption
AFMC offers resources and templates to help families craft engaging profiles that authentically reflect who they are.
3. Identifying Adoption Preferences
Adoptive families have the opportunity to specify their adoption preferences, including:
- Level of openness (open, semi-open, or closed adoption)
- Cultural or religious considerations
- Geographic preferences
Clearly defining these preferences ensures that families only pursue opportunities that align with their adoption goals.
4. Connecting with Adoption Situations in Real Time
AFMC’s Instant Profile System allows adoptive families to browse and respond to available adoption opportunities nationwide. Our platform simplifies the process by:
- Instantly notifying families of new situations that fit their criteria
- Allowing families to submit their profiles for consideration in real-time
- Providing transparency so that families stay informed throughout the process
5. Engaging in Communication & Next Steps
If an expectant mother selects an adoptive family’s profile, the next steps may include:
- Communication via phone, video chat, or messages (if permitted)
- Working with licensed adoption professionals to create an adoption plan
- Preparing for the legal process with the guidance of an adoption attorney
AFMC does not facilitate communication but provides guidance and resources to help families navigate these interactions through their adoption professionals.
Factors That Influence the Selection Process
1. Family Preferences & Openness
Adoptive families who are flexible with preferences (such as openness in adoption) may have more opportunities available to them.
2. Response Time & Readiness
Because adoption opportunities can be time-sensitive, families who quickly review and submit their profiles are more likely to be considered.
3. Emotional Preparedness
Adoption can be an emotional journey. AFMC provides resources and educational materials to help families prepare for the ups and downs of the process.
4. Geographic Considerations
Some expectant mothers prefer adoptive families in certain locations. Families open to different geographic regions may have more opportunities available.
Why AFMC’s Self-Matching Platform Stands Out
1. Nationwide Access
Our platform connects adoptive families with adoption situations across the United States, expanding opportunities.
2. Instant Profile Visibility
The Instant Profile System allows expectant mothers to view adoptive family profiles in real-time, reducing wait times.
3. Transparent & Self-Directed Matching
AFMC empowers families by providing control and choice in their adoption journey, eliminating long waitlists.
4. Flexible Adoption Plans
Families can choose opportunities that align with their values, level of openness, and lifestyle.
Common Questions About AFMC’s Self-Matching Process
1. How Long Does It Take to Connect with an Adoption Opportunity?
Timelines vary. Some families connect quickly, while others take longer based on preferences and availability of situations.
2. Can Expectant Mothers Change Their Minds?
Yes. Expectant mothers always have the right to change their minds before signing legal documents. While this can be emotional, AFMC encourages families to work with experienced adoption professionals for guidance.
3. What Happens If We’re Not Chosen?
If a family is not selected for a particular opportunity, their profile remains active and visible for other adoption situations. Persistence is key.
4. What Role Do Birth Fathers Play?
Every situation varies. When legally required, the birth father’s preferences or consent may also be considered in the process. Families should consult adoption attorneys for legal guidance.
How Adoption For My Child Supports Adoptive Families
At AFMC, we are dedicated to helping adoptive families take control of their adoption journey with innovative tools and resources. Our platform offers:
✅ Adoption Profile Assistance – Create a compelling, engaging profile.
✅ Instant Profile System – Get notified of new adoption situations in real time.
✅ Educational Resources – Learn how to navigate self-matching successfully.
✅ Guidance & Support – Receive direction on best practices from experienced adoption professionals.
Final Thoughts
Connecting with an adoption opportunity is a transformative step in the adoption journey. By taking an active role, preparing a strong profile, and responding quickly to opportunities, families can increase their chances of a successful adoption experience.
At Adoption For My Child, we’re here to empower adoptive families with the tools, resources, and guidance they need. Ready to take the next step? Schedule your free consultation today and start your adoption journey with AFMC!
Disclaimer
Adoption For My Child (AFMC) is a technology platform that provides adoption-related tools, resources, and profile-hosting services. AFMC does not act as an adoption agency or intermediary and does not facilitate communication or legal processes.
All information provided is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, medical, or professional advice. Adoptive families should work with licensed adoption professionals, attorneys, and social workers for all legal and counseling services.
By using this platform, families acknowledge that they remain responsible for complying with all applicable state and federal adoption laws.
For further inquiries, please contact AFMC at [email protected].
What is Birth Mom Management?
/in AFMC/by aseniorSupporting Birth Mothers in the Adoption Process
In the realm of infant adoption, the term “birth mom management” may not be widely recognized, but it plays a crucial role in assisting expectant or biological mothers who are considering adoption for their child. Birth mom management encompasses the invaluable services and support provided by adoption professionals or agencies throughout the adoption journey.
**Role of Birth Mom Managers**
Birth mom managers have a pivotal role in guiding, counseling, and assisting birth mothers during the challenging process of deciding whether to place their child for adoption. Here are some key aspects of their role:
**1. Counseling and Emotional Support**
Birth mom managers offer unwavering emotional support to birth mothers, helping them navigate the complex array of emotions, concerns, and choices associated with adoption. This support includes both individual and group counseling sessions, which are essential for addressing emotional and psychological well-being.
**2. Information and Education**
Comprehensive education is a cornerstone of birth mom management. These professionals provide birth mothers with vital information about adoption options, the adoption process, and the legal rights and responsibilities they hold. Equipped with this knowledge, birth mothers can make informed decisions about their child’s future.
**3. Assistance with Adoption Planning**
Birth mom managers work closely with birth mothers to create customized adoption plans that align with their preferences and the best interests of the child. This may involve helping them select an adoptive family or determining the level of openness in the adoption.
**4. Access to Resources**
Ensuring that birth mothers receive necessary support during and after pregnancy is a top priority for birth mom managers. They connect birth mothers with financial and medical resources to meet their specific needs, ensuring a more stable and comfortable journey.
**5. Post-Placement Support**
Even after the adoption is finalized, birth mom managers continue to provide support. This includes post-placement counseling and assistance in maintaining contact with the adoptive family, should that be part of the plan.
**6. Advocacy**
Advocacy is another integral aspect of birth mom management. These professionals advocate for the rights and well-being of birth mothers, ensuring they are treated with respect and that their wishes are given due consideration throughout the adoption process.
**Empowering Birth Mothers**
In summary, birth mom managers are dedicated to providing compassionate, non-judgmental support to birth mothers during an emotionally challenging period. Their ultimate goal is to empower birth mothers to make the best decisions for themselves and their children, all while safeguarding their rights and well-being throughout the adoption journey.
For individuals navigating the complexities of infant adoption, the role of birth mom managers can be a guiding light, offering the support and resources needed to make informed choices and provide a brighter future for their child.

Adoption Library
/in AFMC, Blog/by aseniorAdoption Related Childrens Books
If you have one to share please let us know we would love to add it to our list.
If you click on the title of each book it will show you where the book can be purchased!
A BLESSING FROM ABOVE
In this touching story, a kangaroo prays for a baby to love and hold. One day, as she rests under a tree, a baby bird falls out of its crowded nest—plop!—right into her pouch! What we love so much about this story is that that the momma bird sees her nest is too crowded too. Momma-Roo and Little One thank God for all their blessings … but especially for each other.
A MOTHER FOR CHOCO
A Mother for Choco is a story about a lonely, little bird who goes in search of a mother. He asked all kinds of animals about his mother, searching for a mother who looks like him, but instead the little bird is blessed with a mother and siblings who look nothing like him.
WE BELONG TOGETHER
This sweet story is all about sharing your home and sharing your heart to make a family that belongs together. “We Belong Together” is a good and simple one for a squirmy toddler. (Meaning that it’s not too long and actually holds their interest!)
GOD FOUND US YOU
This one is very similar to I Wished for You but with foxes instead of bears. What is so great about this book is that it is not specifically geared toward international or an infant adoption or a child adopted through foster care but is just about adoption in general!
The story is a sweet conversation between a mama and her baby, and covers the details of about adoption from waiting, birth moms, looking different to the joy that comes when your child is finally in your arms.
OVER THE MOON
An affirming story about international adoption, based on the author’s own experience with her daughter. Over the Moon by Karen Katz is a magical, reassuring story of one adoptive family’s beginnings, told in words and pictures that are just right for the youngest child.
THERE’S NO ONE LIKE YOU
The story talks about a birthmother that loved their little cub so much and did what was best… “There’s No One Like You” conveys love, acceptance, and a sense of individuality to children who were adopted. However, this book might be better for children who are a tad bit older…. 5 to 10 years old might be best.
MOTHERBRIDGE OF LOVE
What I love most about this touching story is that it tributes both the birth and adoptive mothers. It illustrates how the love of two women for one child come together to make the child who she is…the result of both of their love.
The Story of My Open Adoption: A Storybook for Children Adopted at Birth
Two families, open to love―exploring and explaining adoption at birth
Leap into a warm-hearted tale about a little squirrel who was adopted at birth! Join Sammy as Mom and Dad Rabbit bring him to meet his first family. With its whimsical illustrations and appealing rhymes, this storybook is perfect to read aloud to children age 3-5.
Open adoption can be complex as well as joyful. Sammy’s story opens the door for kids to talk honestly about their experiences and feelings. Parents can also find a list of books and online resources offering research and helpful perspectives around adoption.
Adoption Is Both
May this provide yourself and your family with a guide to start conversations around the complexities of adoption.
Being Adopted
Being Adopted is a book for younger adoptees of any background. It simply outlines universal adoption experiences that are relatable to adoptees as they process and reflect on their unique circumstances and emotions. This book offers an opportunity for adoptees to feel validated and normalize their thoughts and feelings. Not only does Being Adopted serve as a support for younger adoptees but it also comes with a guide for caregivers to adopted children. Being Adopted serves as a tool for the adoptive family. Share your experiences and pictures by tagging
I’ve Loved You Since Forever
I’ve Loved You Since Forever is a celebratory and poetic testament to the timeless love felt between parent and child. This beautiful picture book is inspired by Today show co-anchor Hoda Kotb’s heartwarming adoption of her baby girl, Haley Joy.
Yes, I’m Adopted!
“Yes, adoption makes me special, it means that I am loved…” This brightly colored children’s book illustrates how adoption is brought about by love. Written from a child’s point of view, the rhyming verse takes you through an adoption journey from start to finish. It is perfect for anyone, young or old, whose life has been blessed by adoption.
And That’s Why She’s My Mama
What is a Mama? A mama is someone who is always there for you. She makes you your favorite food, takes you to the park, and kisses your boo-boos better. Some mamas didn’t hold you in their belly, but they will forever hold you in their hearts. Mamas come in all different shapes, colors, and ages, but they all have one thing in common. They love you! Enjoy the multiple characters in this children’s story which explores the loving tasks of what makes a mama. Recommended ages 1-7
Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born
A beautiful adoption story, Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born also speaks to the universal childhood desire to know more about the excitement, awe, love, and sleeplessness that a new baby brings to a family.
Tell me again about the night I was born.
Tell me again how you would adopt me and be my parents.
Tell me again about the first time you held me in your arms.
Some Babies Are Adopted
“Some babies are adopted! They are special boys and girls.” Some Babies Are Adopted is a beautifully written and illustrated children’s book that will guide you through the story of a birth mother who prayerfully chooses adoption for her child and searches for a loving adoptive couple. This is the perfect book for those who want to teach their child, whether adopted or not, that adoption is a choice based on love.
What Makes A Family?
Each family is different. Each family’s unique!
Readers will fall in love with this lyrical, whimsical ode to families and the common thread that creates them all. From blended families to foster families and all the families in-between, this colorful, inclusive picture book teaches children and grown-ups alike that no matter how a family is created, what truly makes a family is CHOOSING to LOVE.
The Adoption Tree
The Adoption Tree is a story that uses the example of a little seedling being uprooted from where it was originally growing and planted into a new place perfectly chosen for it. This story is the perfect way to help young children understand the meaning of adoption, and see that like this little tree, they too are planted in the perfect spot!
We Match on the Inside: : A book to help your child answer questions about adoption
Anya and her parents do not match on the outside and her friends are beginning to notice. While she understands the story of her adoption, it is challenging for her to answer her friends’ questions. With her parents’ help, Anya learns to use creative strategies to navigate questions like, “That’s your MOM?”, “Who are your REAL parents?”, “Why don’t your parents look like you?” and “What is adoption?”. Written by a teacher and adoptive parent along with her daughter, this heartfelt story is accompanied by realistic, comedic and colorful images to keep young listeners engaged. The “Discussion Guide” is an excellent resource for teachers as they introduce the concept of diversity in family systems. It is also a useful tool for adoptive parents as they support their children in developing a healthy personal narrative and teach their children how and when to share their personal stories. The “Advice for Adoptive Parents” section, provides additional guidance on how to support adopted children in a sensitive and developmentally appropriate way.
We Belong to Each Other
At first, Grace feels as if she doesn’t belong because she is the only sheep at White Cottage Farm. But as she experiences the love of the other animals and of the kind man and woman and their baby, she begins to feel safe in her new home and recognizes that God provided her with a loving family.
Mommy Loves Me, Can’t You See?
Mommy Loves Me, Can’t You See? explores the genuine love between an adoptive mother and her baby girl. The story masterfully dives into all of the beautiful ways they are alike and also creatively explores the ups and downs they experience as they explore their differences. In the end, the one thing that binds them together is love.
Two Mama Hens and Their Son Named Finn: A Children’s Story of LGBTQ+ Adoption and
“So, remember my little duck,” the Mama Hens begin to cluck, “Every day when the sun rises there are all types of families in different colors, shapes, and sizes. Even though you were not an egg we could lay, you are our duckling, and we will always be here to stay.”
Join two Mama Hens as they explain to their curious baby duck Finn why he does not look quite like them, and how he came to their family. As the Mama Hens recount their story of rescuing and protecting the lost egg, Finn learns that regardless of how his family of three came to be, the two Mama Hens love him all the same. The children’s book, Two Mama Hens and Their Son Named Finn, familiarizes children with the topic of adoptive families, inclusiveness, and the importance of love no matter where you are from, what you look like, or who you call family.
This book is also pending two other version to depict different types of parent dynamics. This includes, “Two Papa Roosters and Their Daughter Named Bree” and “A Papa Rooster, Mama Hen and Their Daughter Named Wren.”
A Tale of Two Mommies
A Tale of Two Mommies is a beach conversation among three children. One boy asks another boy about having two mommies. A young girl listening in asks some questions too. True to a child’s curiosity, practical questions follow. “Which mom is there when you want to go fishing/ Which mom helps out when Kitty goes missing?” To which he answers: “Mommy helps when I want to go fishing. / Both Mommies help when Kitty goes missing.”
Mommy, Mama, and Me
A heartwarming board books about gay parents! A great purchase for new parents and new babies alike, and the perfect gift to show your love for mommy, mama and more!
Rhythmic text and illustrations with universal appeal show a toddler spending the day with its mommies. From hide-and-seek to dress-up, then bath time and a kiss goodnight, there’s no limit to what a loving family can do together.
Share the loving bond between same-sex parents and their children in this heartwarming story of family.
Daddy, Papa, and Me
Share the loving bond between same-sex parents and their children in this heartwarming story of family.
Two Dads: A book about adoption
Having Two Dads is double the fun! Many families are different, this family has Two Dads. A beautifully illustrated, affirming story of life with Two Dads, written from the perspective of their adopted child. Featured as a recommended book to buy in Gay Times Magazine, Huffington Post, Diva Magazine, New Family Social, Adoption UK Magazine. “uses heartwarming illustrations and delightful rhymes to celebrate the beauty found in all kinds of families — particularly those on the LGBT spectrum.” Adoptive Families Magazine Average 4.41 out of 5 on Goodreads.com
Love Makes a Family
This fun, inclusive board book celebrates the one thing that makes every family a family . . . and that’s LOVE. Love is baking a special cake. Love is lending a helping hand. Love is reading one more book. In this exuberant board book, many different families are shown in happy activity, from an early-morning wake-up to a kiss before bed. Whether a child has two moms, two dads, one parent, or one of each, this simple preschool read-aloud demonstrates that what’s most important in each family’s life is the love the family members share.
[Disclaimer: Some links on this webpage are affiliate links. This means AFMC may earn a commission if you purchase a product through these links, at no additional cost to you. As an Amazon Affiliate, AFMC earns from qualifying purchases. While AFMC may receive compensation, all product recommendations are based on an independent evaluation and are not influenced by affiliate partnerships. We encourage readers to conduct their own research before making a purchase to ensure the product meets their needs.]
Adopting a Child from Foster Care: Cost, Process
/in AFMC, Blog/by aseniorAdopting a Child from Foster Care: Cost, Process, and FAQs
State Photo Lists
Adopting a Child from Foster Care: Cost, Process, and FAQs
Introduction
Adopting a child is a deeply meaningful and life-changing decision. For those exploring adoption options, adopting from foster care is a unique opportunity to provide a loving and stable home to a child in need. This guide will outline the cost, process, and frequently asked questions (FAQs) related to adopting a child from foster care.
The Cost of Adopting from Foster Care
One of the advantages of adopting from foster care is its affordability compared to other forms of adoption. The cost of adopting a child from foster care typically ranges from $2,500 to $40,000, depending on factors such as:
Location: Costs vary by state or region.
Agency and Legal Fees: Fees may cover services like home studies, court proceedings, and agency coordination.
Travel Expenses: Costs incurred if traveling is required to meet or transition the child.
In some cases, costs may be minimal or waived entirely. Many children in foster care are eligible for financial assistance through adoption subsidies, which are designed to help cover the child’s medical, educational, and other needs even after the adoption is finalized.
It is important to research and understand the specific costs and financial assistance options available in your state or region when considering adopting from foster care.
The Process of Adopting from Foster Care
The foster care adoption process involves several essential steps:
Completing a Home Study:
A home study is an evaluation conducted by a licensed social worker or adoption agency to assess the prospective adoptive family’s readiness to adopt.
It includes background checks, interviews, and home visits.
Attending Training and Education:
Prospective adoptive parents often complete training programs to prepare for the challenges and responsibilities of adopting from foster care.
Topics may include parenting techniques, building attachment and bonding, and understanding the effects of trauma on children.
Matching with a Child:
Once the home study and training are complete, families can be matched with a legally adoptable child. Matching may involve reviewing profiles of waiting children or being considered for a child already in foster care seeking a permanent home.
The timeline for completing this process can vary based on the circumstances and requirements of the state or agency. Patience and preparation are key to navigating this rewarding journey.
Age Range of Children in Foster Care
Children available for adoption through foster care are often older, as very few infants are available for adoption. Typically, children are between 3 and 18 years old.
Adopting older children can bring unique challenges and rewards. Being prepared and open to the experience of parenting an older child is essential.
Additional Considerations
Emotional Readiness: Adoption requires emotional resilience and a willingness to embrace a child’s history and unique needs.
Support Services: Access to post-adoption services, counseling, and resources can support a successful transition for both the child and the adoptive family.
Legal Guidance: Consulting with an adoption attorney or professional can help ensure compliance with state and federal laws throughout the process.
Disclaimer
Adoption For My Child (AFMC) does not provide adoption placement or legal services. The information shared here is intended as a resource to educate prospective adoptive families about the foster care adoption process. Always consult licensed adoption professionals, agencies, or attorneys for guidance specific to your situation.
Alabama
Alaska
Arizona
Arkansas
California
Colorado
Connecticut
Delaware
Florida
Georgia
Idaho
Illinois
Indiana
Iowa
Kansas
Kentucky
Louisiana
- Louisiana Heart Gallery
- State of Louisiana Department of Children and Family Services
- Heart Gallery of Northeast Louisiana
- America’s Kids Belong – Louisiana
Maine
Maryland
Massachusetts
Michigan
Minnesota
Mississippi
Missouri
Nebraska
Nevada
New Hampshire
New Jersey
New Mexico
New York
- New York State Office of Children and Families
- Children Awaiting Parents Heart Gallery
- Heart Gallery NYC
North Carolina
North Dakota
Ohio
Oklahoma
Oregon
- Northwest Adoption Exchange: Oregon’s Waiting Children
- Oregon Adoption Resource Exchange
- A Family For Every Child Heart Gallery
Pennsylvania
Rhode Island
South Carolina
Tennessee
Texas
Utah
Vermont
Virginia
Washington
West Virginia
Wisconsin
Wyoming

Click & learn about adoption from foster care
The modules will help you decide if adoption from foster care is are right for you.
US Adoptable Photolists
/in AFMC, Blog/by aseniorState photolists
Adopting a child from foster care can be a fulfilling and life-changing experience. The cost to adopt from a foster home can start as low as $2,500, depending on various factors such as location, agency fees, and legal expenses. It’s important to note that there are very few infants available for adoption through foster care.
Most children available for adoption through the foster care system are typically older, ranging in age from 3 to 18 years old. Providing a loving and permanent home for these children can be incredibly rewarding.
There are many children currently in foster care waiting for a forever home. Please take a moment to review the state photo lists linked below, which feature children seeking adoptive families.
Waiting children for some states can be found on the websites listed below.
Alabama
Alaska
Arizona
Arkansas
California
Colorado
Connecticut
Delaware
Florida
Georgia
Idaho
Illinois
Indiana
Iowa
Kansas
Kentucky
Louisiana
- Louisiana Heart Gallery
- State of Louisiana Department of Children and Family Services
- Heart Gallery of Northeast Louisiana
- America’s Kids Belong – Louisiana
Maine
Maryland
Massachusetts
Michigan
Minnesota
Mississippi
Missouri
Nebraska
Nevada
New Hampshire
New Jersey
New Mexico
New York
- New York State Office of Children and Families
- Children Awaiting Parents Heart Gallery
- Heart Gallery NYC
North Carolina
North Dakota
Ohio
Oklahoma
Oregon
- Northwest Adoption Exchange: Oregon’s Waiting Children
- Oregon Adoption Resource Exchange
- A Family For Every Child Heart Gallery
Pennsylvania
Rhode Island
South Carolina
Tennessee
Texas
Utah
Vermont
Virginia
Washington
West Virginia
Wisconsin
Wyoming

Click & learn about adoption from foster care
These 2 short, interactive modules will help you decide if adoption from foster care is are right for you.
H&M’s Adoption Journey
/in AFMC, Blog/by asenior
May 22, 2021, I was sitting eating my breakfast on a Saturday morning. All of the sudden I heard my phone ding from a favorites email. I glanced and saw it was Adoption for my Child. We matched through them with our daughter in March of 2020 for a born baby situation. Now I never even had opened these emails from them over the last year because we had zero plans to adopt. My life is just busy and I never would remember to take the favorites notifications off. Although looking back, now I know why I didn’t remove that notification. I normally would see it was an email from their website and just ignore it.
On this particular day, I felt led to open this email that dinged its way into my breakfast time. When I opened it I saw it was our birth mom’s name, (very unique spelling) and Louisiana. It said due with a baby girl July 4th. At this point I couldn’t believe what I had just read. I mean this is the only email I have opened from them since adopting our daughter, and it is her birth mom’s name. My instant instinct was to text all the numbers on my phone from our daughters adoption to verify what I had just read. I didn’t even know who all I was texting because I still had the texts saved on my phone…but I was just going for it!

Sure enough, texts confirmed…it was my daughters sister. This brought up a range of emotions, and I wondered is this something we should even pursue??? Without hesitation, I knew God very clearly said to me, YES. I immediately told my husband, but we both had previously agreed our family of 7 was complete. We have five children already.
But to my surprise he said, “Let’s do it”!
Ummmm what?!?!
I said “really”???
He said, “Yes”!
So I immediately told the agency and Adoption For My Child we wanted to pursue this. They asked us to write our daughter’s birth mom a letter and pour out our hearts, so that’s exactly what we did. We know this is all her choice so we write the letter and fully respect her wishes. We also had to step out in faith and update our home study which is quite the process, but we followed God’s lead and we did it. We so desperately felt our daughter was supposed to be with her sister. After all, I knew God had led us to see this email.

The next several weeks of waiting were hard. The agency hadn’t heard from her at all. I did exactly as I had done with my daughter last year and bought a few baby girl outfits and hung them through the house. I told the kids to pray for her birth mom and her daughter, regardless of what would happen. These little outfits were reminders to pray.I played my worship music non stop and had songs of waiting on my Spotify. Way Maker, God Who Listens, Patient by Apollo, God of the Impossible, they were all on repeat….and when I say repeat…my kids were like mom!!!!! Turn it down!!!
Wonderful friends and family sent us songs and prayers that were just spot on. It was like Gods way of communicating to me through them. I won’t lie though when I say this was the hardest wait of my life. But just when I needed encouragement most, someone would text me or message me a song, a prayer, or words of wisdom. Friends and family were praying so hard for the girls to be together if that was God’s will.

The due date finally comes and goes. We had heard we were not sure if the baby or birth mom were ok. She had stopped communicating with the agency, and they were unsure if our daughters birth mom had maybe went with another agency. But I wondered what did all of this mean? Why did I feel so strongly this was from God?
As time went on, my husband and I decided to adopt again. We thought maybe that was God’s plan for us. Just to adopt another baby. But deep down in my heart I really wondered where her sister was, and was she ok. Was her mom ok? I just couldn’t shake the feeling but had decided it was time to move on.
I thought, this wasn’t God’s plan like I thought it was. My mama friends from our family’s homeschool co op had been so wonderful praying and supporting us. We were out at a lovely outdoor pizza oven dinner in our local town the evening of August 5. We chatted and they asked me if I had heard anything else about her sister. I said no, that I prayed she and her mama were ok, but that I had moved on and we had decided we would adopt again.

The very next day, August 6 rolls around and we had just gotten home from a big Sam’s shopping trip. I received a text message on my phone that our daughter’s birth mom had contacted the agency again, and had asked us to adopt her 5.5 week old sister that was still in the NICU.
Like WHAT?!?!
Then Amy with Adoption for my Child called and started filling me in. I felt frozen in time. I had just written this off and had just said to my friends I had moved on the night before, and that I was waiting to see what else God had in store. Plus when we were asked to adopt her that night, we didn’t know all of her medicals and that made me nervous. She was in the NICU and was a full term baby, so what did that mean? Having five kids we have to think about those things too.

We had until the next day to decide if we wanted to proceed. I spent that night tossing and turning. My husband and I knew we just had to go to Louisiana and get all of the details and we wanted to move forward.
Our kids were so excited.
My nine year old son actually started bawling that Saturday morning, August 7th. I figured it was because he was sad we had found out we had to leave for Louisiana the next day. I was wrong. He said he was crying because he was so happy. He said for the last several weeks, he didn’t think we were going to get the chance to adopt our daughters sister. He held me tight and cried happy tears. I reminded him later that day that we didn’t know what was going to happen yet and it wasn’t a done deal.
At that moment he said, “Hey google! Play Way Maker”. This little almost nine year old boy and his wisdom during my time of doubt.

We had until the next day to decide if we wanted to proceed. I spent that night tossing and turning. My husband and I knew we just had to go to Louisiana and get all of the details and we wanted to move forward.
Our kids were so excited.
My nine year old son actually started bawling that Saturday morning, August 7th. I figured it was because he was sad we had found out we had to leave for Louisiana the next day. I was wrong. He said he was crying because he was so happy. He said for the last several weeks, he didn’t think we were going to get the chance to adopt our daughters sister. He held me tight and cried happy tears. I reminded him later that day that we didn’t know what was going to happen yet and it wasn’t a done deal.
At that moment he said, “Hey google! Play Way Maker”. This little almost nine year old boy and his wisdom during my time of doubt.

Finally Tuesday morning rolls around. We still were waiting to hear her full medicals. The hospital didn’t want the original digital paperwork that was signed, so we waited for the physical copy. Finally we got word, we could go and meet our daughters sweet little sister, a moment I questioned many times over, if it would ever happen.
Now, here we were following the social worker to meet her. She had a very very rough start, but from what we were told she was doing amazing. BUT GOD. The moment we laid eyes on her she looked just like her big sister. My husband and I fell in love all over again. I knew in that moment, in my times of doubt through this process, God was saying, “Just WAIT….” My husband had told people, just when we thought it was all over, God said, “IM NOT DONE YET”.
I am telling you this is a story only God could orchestrate. His timing and his plans are perfect.Without hesitation we committed to adopt her and then were able to show all these wonderful, amazing people that had been praying for us, that GOD truly wasn’t done. When you step out in faith and follow his lead, NOTHING is impossible with God.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11
Disclaimer: This testimonial reflects one family’s adoption experience and does not imply guaranteed outcomes. AFMC is a resource platform that connects families with adoption opportunities and professionals but does not directly facilitate adoptions. For specific adoption processes, consult licensed agencies or legal professionals.