Bringing home baby is one of the biggest, most exciting days in a parent’s life. Most people are nervous and might experience the jitters with the anticipation of the upcoming unknown. Parents have questions. “Now that we’ve matched, what do we do? What should we say to the potential birth mother? What things should we due once our child is home?” Simply put, both adoptive parents and expectant mothers want to know where they go from here.

 

Prior to bringing home baby, adoptive parents will want to start sleeping with the blanket they will use to wrap their child in. This helps baby learn your scent and he or she will then associate the parents’ scent to the feeling of being safe and secure.

 

Adoptive parents should be open and honest about their feelings and concerns. Letting the expectant mother know they are a bit nervous for the initial phone call will help put the expectant mother’s own nerves at ease, knowing someone else feels just as anxious and scared as she does.

 

Adoptive parents will need to discuss the type of adoption plan that the birth mother wants for her baby. Adoptive parents should reiterate their willingness to be flexible if the expectant mother feels she needs to have more or less contact and should not question her decision. While this may be worriesome to some adoptive parents as they would like to keep their information private, it is best to remain as transparent as possible within the legal boundaries. Adoptive parents should remain understanding and respectful if the expectant mother is reserved at first. Some expectant mothers want to know as much as possible about what their child’s upcoming life will ok like, while still others find this painful and choose to know as little as possible. This is her private choice and must remain respected.

Adoptive parents and expectant mothers should talk out the expectant mother’s birth plan and how she envisions her delivery. Expectant mothers should be asked gently how she feels about the adoptive parents being a part of the delivery process and hospital stay. Adoptive parents should remain empathetic to the potential birth mother’s feelings as this is her anxiously anticipated moment of separation and her wishes must remain respected. Adoptive parents may wish to ask the potential birth mother if she would like them to document the process as a gift for her.

 

When people become parents through interracial adoption, they become aware of the needs of their child to incorporate heritage into their everyday lives. While interracial adoption brings its own positive aspects and source of joy, various difficulties arise when there are multiple cultures to blend. It is important that children have access to people in their lives with whom they share a cultural background and/or similar heritage. While initially considering adopting interracially, it is equally important for hopeful adoptive parents to consider what their child’s future will look like while incorporating their child’s cultural and heritage needs.

It is important for hopeful adoptive parents to consider their demographics and their environment when choosing the type of community their child will be raised in and determine whether this will allow the child to have access to other people of their same ethnicity, or people who look like they do. It is  extremely important that children be provided the opportunity to fully submerse themselves activities that develop their cultural sense of self. Hopeful adoptive parents should seek out community resources and support to provide them the skills necessary to gain insight. Realizing that children have a right to explore all parts of their heritage is essential, especially for those who are of mixed races and cultural identities

Exploring their child’s cultural language, cuisines, days of celebrations and customs are key ways adoptive families can choose to begin incorporating their child’s cultural background into their lives. Some families choose to teach their child a second language from birth while other families will fix customary meals similar to their child’s ethnicities several times a month. Many adoptive families attend multi culture fairs and choose playdates that expose their children to others with similar backgrounds. Children who grow up in homes where they are presented opportunities to become culturally fluid, allows for them to be better bicultural adults who can comfortably congregate with many various faces of people, leading the way to a very organic and open worldview and therefor making them better versed adults in the workforce.

Adoptive parents must be willing to accept their limited role in their child’s cultural background and be able to identify when they need to step out of their realm of comfort to make connections with persons submerged within those cultures, and thus coming together to bridge the gap and build meaningful relationships to broaden the circle of support for the sake of their child. To help a child become more culturally aware, all it takes is a willing and supportive parent who embraces their child regardless of what their DNA might look like. What really matters is that a child learns to be comfortable with themselves, regardless of where they came from.