Entries by asenior

What is Birth Mom Management?

Supporting Birth Mothers in the Adoption Process

 

In the realm of infant adoption, the term “birth mom management” may not be widely recognized, but it plays a crucial role in assisting expectant or biological mothers who are considering adoption for their child. Birth mom management encompasses the invaluable services and support provided by adoption professionals or agencies throughout the adoption journey.

**Role of Birth Mom Managers**

Birth mom managers have a pivotal role in guiding, counseling, and assisting birth mothers during the challenging process of deciding whether to place their child for adoption. Here are some key aspects of their role:

**1. Counseling and Emotional Support**
Birth mom managers offer unwavering emotional support to birth mothers, helping them navigate the complex array of emotions, concerns, and choices associated with adoption. This support includes both individual and group counseling sessions, which are essential for addressing emotional and psychological well-being.

**2. Information and Education**
Comprehensive education is a cornerstone of birth mom management. These professionals provide birth mothers with vital information about adoption options, the adoption process, and the legal rights and responsibilities they hold. Equipped with this knowledge, birth mothers can make informed decisions about their child’s future.

**3. Assistance with Adoption Planning**
Birth mom managers work closely with birth mothers to create customized adoption plans that align with their preferences and the best interests of the child. This may involve helping them select an adoptive family or determining the level of openness in the adoption.

**4. Access to Resources**
Ensuring that birth mothers receive necessary support during and after pregnancy is a top priority for birth mom managers. They connect birth mothers with financial and medical resources to meet their specific needs, ensuring a more stable and comfortable journey.

**5. Post-Placement Support**
Even after the adoption is finalized, birth mom managers continue to provide support. This includes post-placement counseling and assistance in maintaining contact with the adoptive family, should that be part of the plan.

**6. Advocacy**
Advocacy is another integral aspect of birth mom management. These professionals advocate for the rights and well-being of birth mothers, ensuring they are treated with respect and that their wishes are given due consideration throughout the adoption process.

**Empowering Birth Mothers**

In summary, birth mom managers are dedicated to providing compassionate, non-judgmental support to birth mothers during an emotionally challenging period. Their ultimate goal is to empower birth mothers to make the best decisions for themselves and their children, all while safeguarding their rights and well-being throughout the adoption journey.

For individuals navigating the complexities of infant adoption, the role of birth mom managers can be a guiding light, offering the support and resources needed to make informed choices and provide a brighter future for their child.

Faith

Mother’s Location: Michigan
Due Date: April 5, 2023
Level of Openness: Closed
Child’s Ethnicity: Biracial, Caucasian, Pacific Islander
Child’s Gender: Girl
Requested Family Criteria: All Family Types
Hoping for a family that has Pacific Islander heritage or adopted family member.

The estimated adoption cost is $28,500.00
Due at match is $10,000.00
Due at finalization is: $18,500.00
At risk fee is the our match fee of $10,000.00

TOTAL ESTIMATED COST OF THE ADOPTION: $28,500.00
(Basic Members — Please at $3,000 to total cost above for AFMC Networking Fee)

Download Write Up

Adoption Library

Adoption Related Childrens Books

We wanted to share some favorite books that adoptive families have recommended. Here is a list of books for little ones about adoption that we love! Hope you love some of them too! 

If you have one to share please let us know we would love to add it to our list.  

 

If you click on the title of each book it will show you where the book can be purchased!

 

 

 

A BLESSING FROM ABOVE
In this touching story, a kangaroo prays for a baby to love and hold. One day, as she rests under a tree, a baby bird falls out of its crowded nest—plop!—right into her pouch!  What we love so much about this story is that that the momma bird sees her nest is too crowded too. Momma-Roo and Little One thank God for all their blessings … but especially for each other.

 

 

A MOTHER FOR CHOCO
A Mother for Choco is a story about a lonely, little bird who goes in search of a mother. He asked all kinds of animals about his mother, searching for a mother who looks like him, but instead the little bird is blessed with a mother and siblings who look nothing like him.

 

 

WE BELONG TOGETHER
This sweet story is all about sharing your home and sharing your heart to make a family that belongs together. “We Belong Together” is a good and simple one for a squirmy toddler. (Meaning that it’s not too long and actually holds their interest!)

 

GOD FOUND US YOU
This one is very similar to I Wished for You but with foxes instead of bears. What is so great about this book is that it is not specifically geared toward international or an infant adoption or a child adopted through foster care but is just about adoption in general!

 

 

I WISHED FOR YOU

The story is a sweet conversation between a mama and her baby, and covers the details of about adoption from waiting, birth moms, looking different to the joy that comes when your child is finally in your arms.

 

 

OVER THE MOON
An affirming story about international adoption, based on the author’s own experience with her daughter. Over the Moon by Karen Katz is a magical, reassuring story of one adoptive family’s beginnings, told in words and pictures that are just right for the youngest child.

 

 

THERE’S NO ONE LIKE YOU
The story talks about a birthmother that loved their little cub so much and did what was best… “There’s No One Like You” conveys love, acceptance, and a sense of individuality to children who were adopted. However, this book might be better for children who are a tad bit older…. 5 to 10 years old might be best.

 

 

MOTHERBRIDGE OF LOVE
What I love most about this touching story is that it tributes both the birth and adoptive mothers. It illustrates how the love of two women for one child come together to make the child who she is…the result of both of their love.

 

The Story of My Open Adoption: A Storybook for Children Adopted at Birth

Two families, open to love―exploring and explaining adoption at birth 

Leap into a warm-hearted tale about a little squirrel who was adopted at birth! Join Sammy as Mom and Dad Rabbit bring him to meet his first family. With its whimsical illustrations and appealing rhymes, this storybook is perfect to read aloud to children age 3-5. 

Open adoption can be complex as well as joyful. Sammy’s story opens the door for kids to talk honestly about their experiences and feelings. Parents can also find a list of books and online resources offering research and helpful perspectives around adoption.

 

Adoption Is Both

May this provide yourself and your family with a guide to start conversations around the complexities of adoption.

 

Being Adopted

Being Adopted is a book for younger adoptees of any background. It simply outlines universal adoption experiences that are relatable to adoptees as they process and reflect on their unique circumstances and emotions. This book offers an opportunity for adoptees to feel validated and normalize their thoughts and feelings. Not only does Being Adopted serve as a support for younger adoptees but it also comes with a guide for caregivers to adopted children. Being Adopted serves as a tool for the adoptive family. Share your experiences and pictures by tagging 

 

I’ve Loved You Since Forever

I’ve Loved You Since Forever is a celebratory and poetic testament to the timeless love felt between parent and child. This beautiful picture book is inspired by Today show co-anchor Hoda Kotb’s heartwarming adoption of her baby girl, Haley Joy.

 

Yes, I’m Adopted! 

“Yes, adoption makes me special, it means that I am loved…” This brightly colored children’s book illustrates how adoption is brought about by love. Written from a child’s point of view, the rhyming verse takes you through an adoption journey from start to finish. It is perfect for anyone, young or old, whose life has been blessed by adoption.

 

 

And That’s Why She’s My Mama 

What is a Mama? A mama is someone who is always there for you. She makes you your favorite food, takes you to the park, and kisses your boo-boos better. Some mamas didn’t hold you in their belly, but they will forever hold you in their hearts. Mamas come in all different shapes, colors, and ages, but they all have one thing in common. They love you! Enjoy the multiple characters in this children’s story which explores the loving tasks of what makes a mama. Recommended ages 1-7

 

Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born

A beautiful adoption story, Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born also speaks to the universal childhood desire to know more about the excitement, awe, love, and sleeplessness that a new baby brings to a family.

Tell me again about the night I was born.

Tell me again how you would adopt me and be my parents.

Tell me again about the first time you held me in your arms.

 

 

Some Babies Are Adopted 

“Some babies are adopted! They are special boys and girls.” Some Babies Are Adopted is a beautifully written and illustrated children’s book that will guide you through the story of a birth mother who prayerfully chooses adoption for her child and searches for a loving adoptive couple. This is the perfect book for those who want to teach their child, whether adopted or not, that adoption is a choice based on love.

 

What Makes A Family?

Each family is different. Each family’s unique!
Readers will fall in love with this lyrical, whimsical ode to families and the common thread that creates them all. From blended families to foster families and all the families in-between, this colorful, inclusive picture book teaches children and grown-ups alike that no matter how a family is created, what truly makes a family is CHOOSING to LOVE.

 

The Adoption Tree

The Adoption Tree is a story that uses the example of a little seedling being uprooted from where it was originally growing and planted into a new place perfectly chosen for it. This story is the perfect way to help young children understand the meaning of adoption, and see that like this little tree, they too are planted in the perfect spot!

 

We Match on the Inside: : A book to help your child answer questions about adoption

Anya and her parents do not match on the outside and her friends are beginning to notice. While she understands the story of her adoption, it is challenging for her to answer her friends’ questions. With her parents’ help, Anya learns to use creative strategies to navigate questions like, “That’s your MOM?”, “Who are your REAL parents?”, “Why don’t your parents look like you?” and “What is adoption?”. Written by a teacher and adoptive parent along with her daughter, this heartfelt story is accompanied by realistic, comedic and colorful images to keep young listeners engaged. The “Discussion Guide” is an excellent resource for teachers as they introduce the concept of diversity in family systems. It is also a useful tool for adoptive parents as they support their children in developing a healthy personal narrative and teach their children how and when to share their personal stories. The “Advice for Adoptive Parents” section, provides additional guidance on how to support adopted children in a sensitive and developmentally appropriate way.

 

We Belong to Each Other

At first, Grace feels as if she doesn’t belong because she is the only sheep at White Cottage Farm. But as she experiences the love of the other animals and of the kind man and woman and their baby, she begins to feel safe in her new home and recognizes that God provided her with a loving family.

Mommy Loves Me, Can’t You See? 

Mommy Loves Me, Can’t You See? explores the genuine love between an adoptive mother and her baby girl. The story masterfully dives into all of the beautiful ways they are alike and also creatively explores the ups and downs they experience as they explore their differences. In the end, the one thing that binds them together is love.

 

 

Two Mama Hens and Their Son Named Finn: A Children’s Story of LGBTQ+ Adoption and 

“So, remember my little duck,” the Mama Hens begin to cluck, “Every day when the sun rises there are all types of families in different colors, shapes, and sizes. Even though you were not an egg we could lay, you are our duckling, and we will always be here to stay.”
Join two Mama Hens as they explain to their curious baby duck Finn why he does not look quite like them, and how he came to their family. As the Mama Hens recount their story of rescuing and protecting the lost egg, Finn learns that regardless of how his family of three came to be, the two Mama Hens love him all the same. The children’s book, Two Mama Hens and Their Son Named Finn, familiarizes children with the topic of adoptive families, inclusiveness, and the importance of love no matter where you are from, what you look like, or who you call family.
This book is also pending two other version to depict different types of parent dynamics. This includes, “Two Papa Roosters and Their Daughter Named Bree” and “A Papa Rooster, Mama Hen and Their Daughter Named Wren.”

 

A Tale of Two Mommies

A Tale of Two Mommies is a beach conversation among three children. One boy asks another boy about having two mommies. A young girl listening in asks some questions too. True to a child’s curiosity, practical questions follow. “Which mom is there when you want to go fishing/ Which mom helps out when Kitty goes missing?” To which he answers: “Mommy helps when I want to go fishing. / Both Mommies help when Kitty goes missing.”

 

Mommy, Mama, and Me

A heartwarming board books about gay parents! A great purchase for new parents and new babies alike, and the perfect gift to show your love for mommy, mama and more!
Rhythmic text and illustrations with universal appeal show a toddler spending the day with its mommies. From hide-and-seek to dress-up, then bath time and a kiss goodnight, there’s no limit to what a loving family can do together.
Share the loving bond between same-sex parents and their children in this heartwarming story of family.

 

Daddy, Papa, and Me 

Share the loving bond between same-sex parents and their children in this heartwarming story of family.

 

Two Dads: A book about adoption 

Having Two Dads is double the fun! Many families are different, this family has Two Dads. A beautifully illustrated, affirming story of life with Two Dads, written from the perspective of their adopted child. Featured as a recommended book to buy in Gay Times Magazine, Huffington Post, Diva Magazine, New Family Social, Adoption UK Magazine. “uses heartwarming illustrations and delightful rhymes to celebrate the beauty found in all kinds of families — particularly those on the LGBT spectrum.” Adoptive Families Magazine Average 4.41 out of 5 on Goodreads.com

 

Love Makes a Family

This fun, inclusive board book celebrates the one thing that makes every family a family . . . and that’s LOVE.  Love is baking a special cake. Love is lending a helping hand. Love is reading one more book. In this exuberant board book, many different families are shown in happy activity, from an early-morning wake-up to a kiss before bed. Whether a child has two moms, two dads, one parent, or one of each, this simple preschool read-aloud demonstrates that what’s most important in each family’s life is the love the family members share.

 

[Disclaimer: Some links in this post contain affiliate links. This means I get a commission if you purchase the product through my link at no extra cost to you. As an Amazon Affiliate I earn from qualifying purchases.]

Adopting a Child from Foster Care: Cost, Process

Adopting a Child from Foster Care: Cost, Process, and FAQs

State Photo Lists

  • Adopting a Child from Foster Care: Cost, Process, and FAQs

     

    Introduction 

    Adopting a child is a meaningful and life-changing decision. For those who are considering adoption, there are various avenues to explore, including adopting a child from foster care. Foster care adoption provides an opportunity to provide a loving and stable home to a child in need. In this blog, we will delve into the cost, process, and frequently asked questions (FAQs) related to adopting a child from foster care.

     

     

    The Cost of Adopting from Foster Care 

     

    One of the advantages of adopting from foster care is that it can be more affordable compared to other adoption options. The cost of adopting a child from foster care can range from as little as $2,500 to $40,000, depending on various factors such as location, agency fees, legal fees, and travel expenses. In some cases, the cost may be minimal or even waived, as many children in foster care are eligible for financial assistance through adoption subsidies. These subsidies are intended to help cover the child’s medical, educational, and other needs even after the adoption is finalized. It’s important to research and understand the specific costs and financial assistance options available in your state or region when considering adopting from foster care.

     

    The Process of Adopting from Foster Care

     

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  • The process of adopting from foster care typically involves several steps, including:
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  • Completing a Home Study: A home study is a comprehensive assessment of the prospective adoptive family’s suitability to adopt. It typically involves background checks, interviews, and home visits by a licensed social worker or adoption agency.

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    Attending Training and Education: Prospective adoptive parents are often required to complete training and education programs to prepare them for the challenges and responsibilities of adopting a child from foster care.

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  • These programs may cover topics such as parenting techniques, attachment and bonding, and understanding the effects of trauma on children.

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  • Matching with a Child: Once the home study and training are completed, prospective adoptive parents can be matched with a child who is legally available for adoption. This may involve reviewing profiles of waiting children or being considered for a child who is currently in foster care and in need of a permanent home.

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    Finalizing the Adoption: If the prospective adoptive parents and the child are a good match, the adoption can be finalized through a court process. This typically involves a court hearing, where the legal rights of the birth parents are terminated, and the child becomes a permanent member of the adoptive family.

     

    The process of adopting from foster care can take time and may vary depending on the specific circumstances and requirements of the state or agency involved. It’s important to be patient and prepared for the challenges and joys of the adoption journey.

     

    Age Range of Children in Foster Care

    It’s important to note that children available for adoption through the foster care system are typically older children, as there are very few infants available for adoption. The age range of children in foster care can vary, but generally, children available for adoption are between 3 to 18 years old. It’s essential to be prepared

     

     

Alabama

Alaska

Arizona

Arkansas

California

Colorado

Connecticut

Delaware

Florida

Georgia

Idaho

Illinois

Indiana

Iowa

Kansas

Kentucky

Louisiana

Maine

Maryland

Massachusetts

Michigan

Minnesota

Mississippi

Missouri

Nebraska

Nevada

New Hampshire

New Jersey

New Mexico

New York

North Carolina

North Dakota

Ohio

Oklahoma

Oregon

Pennsylvania

Rhode Island

South Carolina

Tennessee

Texas

Utah

Vermont

Virginia

Washington

West Virginia

Wisconsin

Wyoming



Click & learn about adoption from foster care

The modules will help you decide if adoption from foster care is are right for you.


US Adoptable Photolists

State photolists

  • The cost to adopt a child from a foster home can cost as little as $2,500. Remember that there are very few infants available through foster care
     
    Children that are available for adoption through the foster care system generally age of a child that you will get from Foster Care will range from 3 to 18 years old.  
     
    There are so many children that are waiting a forever home in that are in the foster care system.  Please take a look at the state photo lists that I have listed below that have children waiting for their adoptive home.  

Waiting children for some states can be found on the websites listed below.

Alabama

 

Alaska

 

Arizona

 

Arkansas

 

California

 

Colorado

 

Connecticut

 

Delaware

 

Florida

 

Georgia

 

Idaho

 

Illinois

 

Indiana

 

Iowa

 

Kansas

 

Kentucky

 

Louisiana

 

Maine

 

Maryland

 

Massachusetts

 

Michigan

 

Minnesota

 

Mississippi

 

Missouri

 

Nebraska

 

Nevada

 

New Hampshire

 

New Jersey

 

New Mexico

 

New York

 

North Carolina

 

North Dakota

 

Ohio

 

Oklahoma

Oregon

 

Pennsylvania

 

Rhode Island

 

South Carolina

 

Tennessee

 

Texas

 

Utah

 

Vermont

 

Virginia

 

Washington

 

West Virginia

 

Wisconsin

 

Wyoming



Click & learn about adoption from foster care

These 2 short, interactive modules will help you decide if adoption from foster care is are right for you.


H&M’s Adoption Journey

May 22, 2021, I was sitting eating my breakfast on a Saturday morning. All of the sudden I heard my phone ding from a favorites email. I glanced and saw it was Adoption for my Child. We matched through them with our daughter in March of 2020 for a born baby situation. Now I never even had opened these emails from them over the last year because we had zero plans to adopt. My life is just busy and I never would remember to take the favorites notifications off. Although looking back, now I know why I didn’t remove that notification.  I normally would see it was an email from their website and just ignore it. 

 

On this particular day, I felt led to open this email that dinged its way into my breakfast time. When I opened it I saw it was our birth mom’s name, (very unique spelling) and Louisiana.  It said due with a baby girl July 4th. At this point I couldn’t believe what I had just read. I mean this is the only email I have opened from them since adopting our daughter, and it is her birth mom’s name. My instant instinct was to text all the numbers on my phone from our daughters adoption to verify what I had just read. I didn’t even know who all I was texting because I still had the texts saved on my phone…but I was just going for it! 

 

Sure enough, texts confirmed…it was my daughters sister. This brought up a range of emotions, and I wondered is this something we should even pursue??? Without hesitation, I knew God very clearly said to me, YES. I immediately told my husband, but we both had previously agreed our family of 7 was complete. We have five children already. 

 

But to my surprise he said, “Let’s do it”! 

 

Ummmm what?!?! 

 

I said “really”??? 

 

He said, “Yes”! 

 

So I immediately told the agency and Adoption For My Child we wanted to pursue this. They asked us to write our daughter’s birth mom a letter and pour out our hearts, so that’s exactly what we did. We know this is all her choice so we write the letter and fully respect her wishes. We also had to step out in faith and update our home study which is quite the process, but we followed God’s lead and we did it. We so desperately felt our daughter was supposed to be with her sister. After all, I knew God had led us to see this email. 

The next several weeks of waiting were hard. The agency hadn’t heard from her at all. I did exactly as I had done with my daughter last year and bought a few baby girl outfits and hung them through the house. I told the kids to pray for her birth mom and her daughter, regardless of what would happen. These little outfits were reminders to pray.I played my worship music non stop and had songs of waiting on my Spotify. Way Maker, God Who Listens, Patient by Apollo, God of the Impossible, they were all on repeat….and when I say repeat…my kids were like mom!!!!! Turn it down!!! 

 

Wonderful friends and family sent us songs and prayers that were just spot on. It was like Gods way of communicating to me through them. I won’t lie though when I say this was the hardest wait of my life. But just when I needed encouragement most, someone would text me or message me a song, a prayer, or words of wisdom. Friends and family were praying so hard for the girls to be together if that was God’s will. 

The due date finally comes and goes. We had heard we were not sure if the baby or birth mom were ok. She had stopped communicating with the agency, and they were unsure if our daughters birth mom had maybe went with another agency.  But I wondered what did all of this mean? Why did I feel so strongly this was from God? 

 

As time went on, my husband and I decided to adopt again. We thought maybe that was God’s plan for us. Just to adopt another baby. But deep down in my heart I really wondered where her sister was, and was she ok. Was her mom ok?  I just couldn’t shake the feeling but had decided it was time to move on. 

 

I thought, this wasn’t God’s plan like I thought it was. My mama friends from our family’s homeschool co op had been so wonderful praying and supporting us. We were out at a lovely outdoor pizza oven dinner in our local town the evening of August 5. We chatted and they asked me if I had heard anything else about her sister. I said no, that I prayed she and her mama were ok, but that I had moved on and we had decided we would adopt again. 

The very next day, August 6 rolls around and we had just gotten home from a big Sam’s shopping trip. I received a text message on my phone that our daughter’s birth mom had contacted the agency again, and had asked us to adopt her 5.5 week old sister that was still in the NICU. 

 

Like WHAT?!?! 

 

Then Amy with Adoption for my Child called and started filling me in. I felt frozen in time. I had just written this off and had just said to my friends I had moved on the night before, and that I was waiting to see what else God had in store. Plus when we were asked to adopt her that night, we didn’t know all of her medicals and that made me nervous. She was in the NICU and was a full term baby, so what did that mean? Having five kids we have to think about those things too. 

We had until the next day to decide if we wanted to proceed. I spent that night tossing and turning. My husband and I knew we just had to go to Louisiana and get all of the details and we wanted to move forward. 

Our kids were so excited. 

 

My nine year old son actually started bawling that Saturday morning, August 7th. I figured it was because he was sad we had found out we had to leave for Louisiana the next day. I was wrong. He said he was crying because he was so happy. He said for the last several weeks, he didn’t think we were going to get the chance to adopt our daughters sister. He held me tight and cried happy tears. I reminded him later that day that we didn’t know what was going to happen yet and it wasn’t a done deal.  

At that moment he said, “Hey google! Play Way Maker”. This little almost nine year old boy and his wisdom during my time of doubt. 

We dropped our kiddos off with my family that Sunday morning August 10th, and headed for the 10.5 hour drive to Louisiana from where we live. Again, more worship music. I felt sick to my stomach because of my nerves, but the music helped. I didn’t want to leave here without our daughters sister. 

 

I had envisioned them together so many times during our wait, and how incredible that would be for them to have each other growing up.

 

The next few days would be full of delays and waiting. I so desperately felt for our daughters birth mom signing away her rights. Adoption is hard because although there is happiness, there is such a loss and so much grief. While one or two persons are singing away parental rights, another family is gaining a new family member. Although the relationship that can come from that, is pretty beautiful too. 

Finally Tuesday morning rolls around. We still were waiting to hear her full medicals. The hospital didn’t want the original digital paperwork that was signed, so we waited for the physical copy. Finally we got word, we could go and meet our daughters sweet little sister, a moment I questioned many times over, if it would ever happen. 

 

Now, here we were following the social worker to meet her. She had a very very rough start, but from what we were told she was doing amazing. BUT GOD. The moment we laid eyes on her she looked just like her big sister. My husband and I fell in love all over again. I knew in that moment, in my times of doubt through this process, God was saying, “Just WAIT….” My husband had told people, just when we thought it was all over, God said, “IM NOT DONE YET”. 

 

I am telling you this is a story only God could orchestrate. His timing and his plans are perfect.Without hesitation we committed to adopt her and then were able to show all these wonderful, amazing people that had been praying for us, that GOD truly wasn’t done. When you step out in faith and follow his lead, NOTHING is impossible with God.

 

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11

How Adoption For My Child differs from other adoption professionals

How is Adoption For My Child different from the other adoption professionals?

A year before my husband and I found AFMC, we were using a well-known adoption facilitator. It started off really well, we had a consultation with their director. He was similar to a used car salesman.  He told us everything we wanted to hear!! The company sent over a contract, and without really looking it over, we eagerly signed it! In the moment, we were excited, and thought it’s just normal. There was a lot of “fine print” items we should have read. I highly suggest having an honest family or friend read it over. They will see things; you may look over. After sending a check (close to 20K), for their services, we were put in contact with the profile coordinator. She had both of us fill out information about ourselves, our family, our town, etc. … when we returned our information, she reached out asking (RED FLAG 1) if I would go by my middle name or change the spelling of my name? Why would she ask/suggest I do such a thing!?! She claimed it would protect us from the birth mom finding us after 10 years. We were told we’d be having monthly calls, so we’d find out how often our profile was shown and reviewed. These calls were very quick, and always seemed to be rushed. If we asked a question, there was never an answer. It would be “let me check, and I’ll get back to you two.” When we were first “matched” with a potential expectant mother, she told us that she didn’t choose us, she was told we were the ones that would be “a perfect fit”. (RED FLAG 2) We were told the EM chose the family. This situation fell through. Second “matched” EM experience … she was homeless and needed a place to live. (RED FLAG 3) The coordinator from the company told her “Go find a homeless shelter.” That situation also fell through. Third/Fourth EM experience … it was the same woman! (RED FLAG 4) We spoke to her for a couple weeks. Her name was so unusual, I found her social media. She was mocking the fact of not being pregnant, and how she was fooling families! We backed out. Within 24 hours, we were told a new EM had chosen us. Within a day, she was discussing information about us, that I hadn’t revealed. I quickly knew it was the same girl!! Why didn’t the company vet this girl? How did they not see it was the same IP address? We informed the company, and they wouldn’t respond via email (RED FLAG 5) … they would only speak to us on the phone. 

After 5 failed matches/scams

I knew this facilitating company was not for our family. We have strong values and morals, and their actions were far off, from what they claim how they operate. About 9 months into our adoption process, I started looking at other companies. I watched how they operated. I interviewed with a few companies. I asked a lot of questions. I wanted to ensure we would not use a company, similar to the first company! After a few weeks of realizing majority of these facilitators/agencies all ran their companies in a similar fashion … there was one company that stood out, and in a very positive way! I was so hopeful with AFMC! I narrowed my selection down to ONLY them! The company was so transparent with every situation that was posted. They gave an estimated cost (and break down). If the EM is working with an agency. What the EM is hoping for in a family. If the EM is hoping for an open, semi-open, or closed adoption … So, you can decide if the adoption situation would work for your family. 

We signed up with AFMC for 6 months. We immediately had amazing correspondence with Amy.  She would answer ALL our questions and didn’t ever rush us. She is an open book and has a high competence for the adoption process. She knew exactly all the emotions we were feeling, and completely comforted us. We knew she ran her business, with high morals and standards. She has a passion for adoption and is there to help everyone. When we presented our profile, she told us how to enhance our information. She was very savvy with her knowledge. I can’t reiterate enough how authentic Amy is. The way AFMC differs from all other agencies/facilitators is how they operate the adoption process. They allow the EM and potential adoptive parents decide whether the situation will be best for their needs/wants. It’s not like others, where the facilitators choose, and don’t really give other options. Yet, agencies/facilitators claim the EM has full control over the families they’d like to place their child with. After our profile was complete, we were able to submit our profile, to any situation, that seemed like a perfect fit for our family. AFMC was honest and would tell us if the EM wanted a family without any other children or hoping for the family to be close to her. They never denied us to submit for a situation, but would gently remind us our family wasn’t what the EM was hoping for. Within the first month, we were MATCHED!! There wasn’t any doubt or questioning about the EM … Obviously, we knew the EM could choose to parent, but we knew AFMC did their part by letting us control our adoption and the EM control the family she wanted. 

 

What we wish we would have known before our adoption process. 

Speak to several agencies/facilitators. Ask questions about their company. Ask for referrals. 

Have someone close, but not fully invested in your adoption to read over any contracts. 

Take notes on EVERYTHING!! Keep a file just for your adoption process. 

Keep calls to a minimum. Use email, so you always have a paper trail!

Work with a company and attorney who has similar morals and values as your family. 

Do not fake it, to make it! 

Be true to your EM. You never want to start a relationship on a lie or false hope. You want their story of you to be wonderful and not hurtful. 

*Remember your future child may one day hear the EM’s side of their adoption story!

 

This is a HUGE step to expand your family. Don’t lose hope!

Good luck and God Bless!!

B&D – Twin Girls

 

What is a “Stork Drop”?

Blinded Faith

Stork Babies – Born Babies

Stork brought the baby to happy parents. Replenishment in the fa

These are babies that are born babies or born very soon.  They are called a few things but most call them stork drops, born babies, emergency situations, Immediate Adoption Situation, or Immediate Birth Adoption Opportunity.  This occurs when a Birth Mother chooses adoption when the baby is born or right before the birth and doesn’t already have an adoption plan in place.  

 

This means there is limited information, if any available about the baby.  No previous contact with the birth mother, or extremely limited.  No information on family history, medical history, or birth father.  

WHAT-IF?

The “what-if” question is always asked.  We do everything we can to provide the most information when these situations come in.  But most of the time we don’t get the answers before a family has been identified.  Our new system (Instant Profile System – IPS) also allows the adoption professional or caseworker to view all the families that are open to stork drops.

We have been working on providing these types of situations for a long time and have had amazing results. 

Due to the urgency of timing, when presented with an immediate situation, likely with no, to limited information about the Birth Parents. 

If you have decided that you are able to accept an immediate adoption situation,

Every family’s adoption journey will be unique, and these situations are not for everyone.  

This option is not for everyone, and that’s ok.  BEFORE you decide if this is right for you, please take some time to consider the following.  

If you have decided that you are able to accept an immediate adoption situation:

1.     Are you ready for the reality of bringing home a baby in such a short period of time? 

2.     Will you be prepared to leave right away and travel to where the Birth Mother and baby are located? 

3.     It will be important for your home study to be up to date because adoption laws will preclude you from moving forward otherwise.

4.     An immediate adoption situation will require flexibility and the ability to handle the unexpected.

5.     How soon can you leave?

6.     Are you open to a drug positive/NAS baby?

7.     Are you open to Fetal Alcohol exposure? 

8.     Are you open to a preemie?

9.     How long can you stay if baby is in NICU?

10.  Are you open to birth defects? If so to what level?

11.  Are you comfortable with a parental history of mental health?

12.  Are you comfortable with a baby born due to rape or incest?

13.  Are you willing to accept placement of a special needs infant?

14.  Are you open to a stork drop that has zero information besides birth conditions? 

15.  This may potentially be a closed adoption are you comfortable with that

16.  Are you ok with no prenatal care or medical history?

17.  Do you have the necessary items ready for a quick placement? IE: infant car seat, small diaper bag ready, bottles

18.  What are your liquid funds? 

19.  What funds do you have in grants or loans available? 

However, the adoption professionals will be in communication with you and will also be working behind the scenes on coordinating the adoption with the hospital and Birth Mother, working on the legal pathway, addressing Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children issues, if applicable.  So don’t worry you will not be alone. 

Every family’s adoption journey will be unique.  

 

18 Reasons Birth Mothers Choose Adoption

Here is a list of 18 reasons why an Expectant Parent(s) may choose adoption for their baby. Financial Reasons Housing  Support from family/other No job Abusive Relationship Drug/Alcohol Use  Pro-life Want a two parent family Homeless Want better for their child One night stand Having a career and baby doesn’t work at this time in […]